in a bit of trouble and need advice

[Jikos]

please excuse my typing im on a DSi right now.

so today i got caught. in my room i have my old ps3 box and in that box is where i keep my bong, bud, lighters, papers, bluntwraps, everything that was in it was found by my parents. i came home to my dad and grandpa. my dad went into rage and started hitting me, although i could tell he wasnt putting any force into the hits bcause i couldnt feel a thing. he took my phone and i am left with my DSi. he said he will call the cops tomorrow. i know better than him that they wont do anything serious to me. im not worried about that. i have smoked very often for about a year and almost every dayforthe past 4 months. i know every consequence and risk. i know this will go beyond some probation. how do i reason with my parents, especially my dad, who thinks all my friends are evil and thinks this is the worst thing in the world. sure ill lay off the bong for awhile but how can i actually get them to listen and explain that it isnt very harmful. i just dont want them to see me as some hopeless junkie. they arent educated enough to know the diffrence between marijuana or meth so to them its just “drugs”. im kind of greatful that this happened i just need to know how to deal with it. fuck that took forever to write.

 

[Fishy]

Well, obviously if you're only smoking weed (do you even smoke cigarettes?) your parents/father should have far greater issues to worry over. It may be futile, but you could try actually educating him about marijuana itself, and "explaining" to him how it's not some terrible instant-gateway drug that the media dramatizes it to be, and that you're not like hopelessly addicted to it (I assume). If that is the case, would it be so bad to just quit if you knew your parents would never understand/deal with it?

If you're really just worried about saving your own skin, apologize incessantly to your father and mother and promise to never do it again, and get better at hiding your shit. If you do indeed go on probation or experience any type of law enforcement, I suppose just take it in and view it as a learning experience! Just remember, this isn't the end of the world!

 

[b0b3rt]

If your parents aren't smart enough to understand that weed doesn't kill people, then there's nothing you can do (until CA legalizes it).

 

[ivar]

Dude give away your weed, like to your buddy to hold it. You can't be charged for possession otherwise and unless you're a dealer they won't pursue charges beyond a check through the house if your dad calls them. The cops can do nothing and probably don't even give a shit. And you can keep your paraphernalia (like the bong), since that stuff isn't illegal. There's no such thing as conspiracy to smoke a gram of weed charge.

Seriously though your dad is a fucking moron and no not just because he simply categorizes weed as drugs, but because he's willing to put a potential legal record on his son. You can't reason with people like that (no offense to your pops and all); he's old now and unlikely to change. He might change his mind or something tomorrow (could be a fit of rage), but if I were I would take independent action. Don't worry about the cops and just avoid your dad for several months and eventually he'll forget and stop giving a shit.

disclaimer: this is coming from a Canadian... so maybe that screws my advice up.

edit: okay there ARE paraphernalia charges in the US... so hide that as well.

 

[dozer]

Ok what are you more worried about here? Your parents or the Cops? I'll give you a scenario for both.

Your Parents: I don't know your parents so I don't know how much I can help you here. But if all your parents did was threaten to call the cops, I'd say your parents actually care about you. They conceived you and I'm sure your parents love you (from what you have described). This sounds like what happpened to my brother. My parents had a fit, then got over it in time. They'll still love you. It's only pot man. ;)

Police: This might be a bit more difficult. I've been caught with pot before. (A couple times). The worst the cop has ever done was told me to relinquish everything I had. It isn't that big a deal as long as you aren't distributing. If your selling, your in much deeper shit man, and I can't help you with that. Otherwise I'd say you're fine. How old are you? If you're younger than 18 the most you'll get is probation. (Unless of course you've been caught before, and I'm pretty sure you haven't due to your parent's reaction).

Anyways relax man. Just comply with the police if your parents do call them and it'll turn out ok.

 

[cim]

Parental abuse concerns aside...

Legally you shouldn't be in TOO much trouble. It'll go on your record, you probably had an ounce or two plus paraphernalia, so some juvenile detention is not out of the question. But it's not a felony so you're not fucked for life or anything like that.

You're not going to be able to convince your parents that marijuana isn't dangerous, ESPECIALLY right after they found it. It's something you may be able to tactfully bring up in the future, if you make it clear you have no intention of doing it again and you're just informing them as to why you acted the way you did (yup you'll be lying). Until then, you'll have to deal with your parents the same way gay kids deal with ignorant parents: Lying, grinning, and bearing it.

Good luck kid.

 

[Jikos]

@ above, i had less than a gram and i am aware of the legal consequences. its been about a week and my dad has really cooled down. yesterday i had a talk with him about it and i was completely 100% honest with him. i told him that i like to smoke weed, why i like it, why i did it/do it, how often, etc. i didnt expect him to accept it or allow me to do it, but i didnt expect him to respond the way he did. from what ive gathered he's never smoked weed. he knows nothing on the subject. he seems to be convinced that it will turn me into a bum, or that it will lead me onto harder drugs. i tried to explain to him that this is untrue, if i ever decide to use something like heroine, it won't be because of marijuana. he had trouble believing that it's a very accepted normal thing to do. of course he has much more life experiences in this world and sure he knows a thing or two more than me but how do i convince him that marijuana wont harm me? he told me this is killing him, and making him, in simple words, sad. he is just as stubborn as i am (that is where i get it from >_>) and from the facts i've told him im sure it went in one ear and out the other. who does he have to hear it from to make him believe it's not something that will alter my path in life. what do i have to do? i will not give up my weed. that is something i wont do to satisfy my parents or anyone around me. call me selfish but i have my own beliefs and values and it's something i simply won't do.

 

[Atlas]

stop being a pussy and give it up. its illegal and more importantly their house, their rules.

 

[Mike B]

sounds like your life's not in check. i'd pay attention to that.

 

[Mattimeo]

As long as you aren't a bum I wouldn't stop unless that's what you want to do. Anyway you could prove to them that your life's got better since you started? Or even that nothing's changed? Problem with telling them nothing has changed is that then there's no reason to be smoking. As for the cops, is he bluffing? Why wait a day to call the cops?
Even if he does I doubt anything'll happen.

I live in Canada and when my sister was about 15 she was growing 2 plants in her closet, my dad(who also smokes weed) called the cops and gave them the plants and that was that.

 

[Not Scicky]

@Aura_Guardian/Atlas/Pastel: Gee thanks you guys, I'm sure you helped out this guy a lot and I'm sure he wasn't already aware that pot was illegal.

Gtfo this thread.

First of all, I'd identify the problems your parents have with it, once those are clearly defined the solution is alot easier to figure out :/

@Mattimeo: Haha, last year me and my buddy were trying to grow 4 plants in his closet but his sisters stomped on them, his dad just laughed and said "HAHAHA, GET THEM OUT HAHA".

Calgary = Weed in closets I guess ._.

 

[Eraddd]

I'm questioning the rationale behind calling the cops, but that's a whole another matter.

For your parents, if they're conservative like mine (they went apeshit when I played STARCRAFT ffs), then I would have to call GG, and just accept the punishment. They're not going to accept the fact that weed isn't as bad as other drugs etc etc, but all they're going to focus on is the stigma behind it.

Depending on where you live (I live in weed province of Canada, aka BC), the cops will either be hard on you (arrest you, though this is relatively rare, as weed has become more open in the past few years), or will just tell you to give it up. My friends were caught with weed, and the cops just said "It's pretty obvious you're not goign to give up smoking weed, so just hand the stuff over." Unless you were selling, THEN it's definitely a bigger issue. If you weren't, then don't worry bout the cops. Worry bout your parents.

 

[The SPrinkLer]

Well, you should hide it better if you get more in the future. I hide mine in the battery place in an old radio, and it's never used. It's sitting on top of my dresser with no one to look through it. I notice you didn't mention anything about your mother (I assume you have one, pardon if I am incorrect), but try talking to her. She is more likely to understand.

 

[Surgo]

their house, their rules.

Big truth in this statement.

What you need to do is start repairing the trust between them and you, which is something that you pretty clearly destroyed. No easy way to do it, but it's essential if you want to have a pleasant life with your parents.

 

[Ritz]

I'm going to skip the whole "just wait until you have a place of your own" since I see "their house, their rules" already got accepted so well, and ask a question instead; is there any way you could just make it a habit to only smoke at a friend's house or something? Even if you convince your parents, or they just give in out of exhaustion, they'll probably cringe everytime you're alone in your room thinking that it's happening in their house. I'd at least give them that much grace, but I also had awesome parents and grew to accept that all their stupid strictness made me a good person in a way most people prob never will, so take it with a grain of salt if you still hate your parents at 40 or w/e.

Anyway,
I can say from first hand experience that yes, he probably doesn't know how lax weed is. All through highschool I was prissy and stuck up and gross about it because I played sports and wouldn't even touch a beer with a 10 foot pole because I was afraid of being kicked off the team. I thought that everyone who did weed was a sleazebag and an idiot and a loser with no friends and no pasttimes and no hope and etc.

HOWEVER, once I graduated and stopped giving a shit, I've actually been looking it up on the internet and I've realized how stupid it is that it's even illegal at all, when things that are much, much more harmful are legal and widespread (ahacigarettesaha).

So to tl;dr, convince him to do a google search with you, skip over the scare-tactics and go to sites that benefit your purpose. Obviously "legalize weed" would probably be a good search term. From personal experience, without reading these things it's pretty easy to assume the worst of it, so just let him know. I'm not saying he'll be like "oh okay, let's get high together!" but at least it might soften him a bit.

Sorry if I pissed anyone off with this post, ahaha

 

[Surgo]

It doesn't fucking matter how dangerous or not dangerous marijuana is. What does matter is he destroyed the trust between himself and his parents. There is something way more important at stake than the ability to get high.

 

[VKCA]

Where do you live? Is it tremendously difficult to smoke outside? Don't keep any more weed at your house, or if you do get a better hiding spot. Ditch the bong as well. If you desperately need to smoke in your room, keep papers around. Papers & weed are much easier to hide then a bong. But I would recommend just not smoking at your house anymore. Can you just keep everything at someone else's house?

 

[Force Majeure]

Quit it until you move away from your 'rents. It's their house, after all.